Couples Therapy
with Mary McDonald, LICSW
I help couples get to a place they haven’t been before, not just go back to where they were.
Are you having the same argument over and over?
You may feel like roommates instead of partners. Conversations turn into conflict or shut down. You try to fix things, but the same patterns keep showing up. It can start to feel hopeless or exhausting.
Most couples are trying plenty hard; They’re just stuck in a pattern they can’t yet see clearly.
Very few of us have grown up in households where direct but peaceful conflict resolution took place. We can lack the tools and the perspective.
Couples Come To Me When They:
Fight repeatedly
Get stuck on money
Lack intimacy
Feel like roommates
Walk on eggshells
Don’t know how to grapple with conflict
Are stuck in patterns
“As soon as you believe you only hear from your partner what you’ve heard before, you stop listening.”
How Couples Therapy With Me Works
In our work, we focus on real moments between you, not just general ideas. We talk about something really specific and granular. And then we slow the game down so that we can revisit it and notice things we haven’t before, about ourselves and our partner.
As we do this, you begin to hear each other in a new way. You learn things about your partner you didn’t know before. You also begin to better understand the impact you have on one another.
Modalities I Use
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Explores the deeper patterns and emotional dynamics that keep you stuck, so you can understand and shift them.
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Helps you see how each person’s role and reactions influence the relationship dynamic.
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Uses attachment styles as clues, not labels, so you can understand how you respond to closeness and conflict.
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Teaches you how to express concerns clearly while staying connected, so conflict leads to progress instead of shutdown.
“Even small conflicts are more interesting than you may think. They contain clues that can help you escape the old patterns.”
Respond With Awareness
As patterns become clear, the relationship shifts.
Instead of reacting to each other, you can choose how to respond.
Results from couples therapy:
Better communication
Conflict that can lead to progress instead of injury
More intimacy
Feeling understood
A new projection of the future
Testimonials
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"Mary does her analytic work as the person she is – generous, empathetically focused, worldly wise, incisive, humorous, earnest and devoted. She is palpably there."
—Stuart A. Pizer, Ph.D., ABPP
Founding Board Member, Massachusetts Institute of Psychoanalysis
Assistant Professor of Psychology (part time), Department of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School
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"Over the years, Mary has become highly valued colleague. As a therapist and psychoanalyst, she has a rare gift for combining a warm and welcoming presence with incisive intelligence and understanding."
—Carol Rubin, PhD
Faculty of PINE Psychoanalytic Center and Faculty member of the Massachusetts Institute for Psychoanalysis
About Mary McDonald
My therapy is designed for couples who want to understand what’s really happening between them and create something different, not just manage conflict.
I am direct, engaged, and fully present in the room. Many people wonder what their therapist is thinking. With me, you will not have to guess. I share what I see and help you both stay with the important moments that lead to change.
Before becoming a therapist, I spent 16 years in finance. Some couples appreciate that I understand the stressors of demanding careers and how they impact relationships.
Outside of therapy, I enjoy reading, theater, art collecting, gardening, and travel.
Availability: I work with clients in person in Cambridge, MA and via Telehealth, across Massachusetts.
Education, Credentials & Training
Masters in Social Work, Simmons College, Boston, MA
Psychoanalytic Training, Massachusetts Institute of Psychoanalysis
Psychodynamic Fellowship Program, PINE Psychoanalytic Center
Couples Counseling Fellowship, The Psychodynamic Couple and Family Institute of New England
Fellowship Program, Boston Institute for Psychotherapy
Faculty, Massachusetts Institute for Psychoanalysis
MBA, New York University
Bachelor’s Degree, Vassar College
3 Steps to Get Started
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Fill out the contact form and share a bit about what’s going on.
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We’ll talk briefly to see if this feels like a good fit for both of you.
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Once there’s a decision to go forward, we review schedules, compensation and location / modality